My guilty pleasure is drawing demon generals in business suits (as per the post-series fanfics in the Loyal Retainer). Also I have a hard time with male physiques so the three of them are good practice because they have different body types: Hokushin’s more slim, Kirin is muscular, and Shachi is more bulky. I’m trying to think of things to say about them that I’ve never said before, so have some random office headcanons and a bonus salaryman AU!
Hokushin
Partly because of his experience during the Heian era (see: Loyal Retainer) and partly because he’s super organized, he’s madly obsessed with stationery. Pens, notebooks, matching letter paper, sticky notes, scented novelty erasers – you name it, he’s into it. The first time he set foot inside a Tokyu Hands he very nearly lost his freaking mind. And oh my god don’t get him started on fountain pens and fountain pen ink. Or desk accessories.
Salaryman AU: Polite, diplomatic project manager forever
herding catschasing people down for updates. Notorious for detailed status reports that are basically carefully written walls of text documenting everything since the beginning of time. No one reads them so he ends up being the only person who knows what’s going on. Always remembers coworkers’ birthdays and compliments people on new glasses and haircuts.Kirin
He’d much rather punch someone in the face or long-distance skillet-fry all the soft tissue out of their skull, but he’s actually insanely good with spreadsheets and data. He can set up complex formulas and pivot tables like a world-class Excel champion. Sometimes, if he’s had too much coffee, weird occult characters get into his cells, and then his spreadsheets can summon demons. Does that sound weird since he’s a demon? OK, summon mind-controlled slave demons and evenly disseminate neatly-rounded curses and stuff like that. And skillet-fry soft tissue. Alongside this real-time analytics dashboard check out the animations oooo!!
Salaryman AU: Amiable and super chill business intelligence analyst you keep running into around the office. You’ve chatted with him numerous times but when you think about it, you realize you don’t actually know anything about him because he never says anything substantial about himself. You’re never quite sure what he’s up to, but he seems to get his work done…? Whatever it is, anyways. You don’t quite understand what he does, honestly.
Shachi
This guy’s dead, what’s he doing here? Well, in a universe where Fish Head somehow survived Kurama splitting him in two and made it to the new Demon World administration, I envision him as a self-styled PowerPoint expert. Because he knows how to use the animations in PowerPoint. All of them. At the same time. (Yoda did not let him make the presentation in Yomi’s boardroom.) Also, GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH IS NOT YOUR CLIPART LIBRARY, SHACHI
Salaryman AU: Loudmouthed blustery guy in sales who’s full of himself and always has the most disorganized paperwork. Really good at taking credit for other people’s ideas. Never replies to Hokushin’s emails, always messes up Kirin’s data and skews the results. No one likes him, why is he still here.
This was entirely too much fun to imagine lmao
YYH-Revival 