brella:

THINGS ABOUT HIEI THAT I LOVE AND HATE SIMULTANEOUSLY:

• his stupid face
• his all-consuming need to be the edgiest person in the room even if that means murdering everyone else in the room
• his top secret mushy spot for his long lost twin sister, yukina, who loves him very much, and who he loves very much, and for whom he has made every pivotal choice in his life, and thanks to whom he found the hope and reason to keep living
• how he wears black 99.999999% of the time except for that one time he wore like 3 different colors and turned the dark tournament into a fashion show that he then immediately won just by being there
• his TOTAL LACK OF UNDERSTANDING about how bandages are supposed to work; what, what IS THIS, WHAT IS THIS
• the very high probability that he and yusuke share a mutual love for ll cool j’s 1990 smash hit “mama said knock you out,” and also that he does not care about video games, hugs, or puppies
• the situation: *goes wrong* hiei: *goes to sleep*
• how his whole narrative is about redemption and finding the capacity for love and goodness in yourself and finally learning that you can be loved even after a lifetime of strife and doubt and loneliness, and other shit i don’t care about and i never have
• that as if the funimation dub translation of his attack “dragon of the darkness flame” weren’t 12 enough, the literal japanese translation of jao ensatsu kokryuuha is “WICKED KING IMMOLATION BLACK DRAGON WAVE,” because, as aforementioned, he has to be the edgiest person in the room, and he is a fucking nerd on wheels
• that even though he would much rather kill for his friends he would also probably die for them, maybe, if push comes to bodily heave over a cliff, and if they aren’t looking and can never use it against him
• “hiei, standing at 4′10 without hair,”
• that he will fight literally anyone about literally anything, whether it’s sensui for murdering his bff yusuke or his bff yusuke for saying “at least i don’t have to stand on a stack of phone books to fight somebody” i SCREAM EVERY DAY
• he thinks he’s real sick at the burns but the best he can come up with for mukuro is “you… you odd mummy”
• hiei: i don’t care narrator: in fact he cared very much but was unfamiliar with the sensation and this frightened him
• “VARIOUS CRIMES”
• “HERE’S A ONE-WAY TICKET FOR YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL, YOU BASTARD”
• “NO THREE-LETTER WORD CAN RULE MY FATE! ……..’HOT’”
• he and kurama are always trying to out-extra each other like you know when he fought shigure and cut his own arm off as he was bleeding to death on the floor he was like “hah… ch..eckma…te…… kurama………”
• kurama: sometimes fighting w you is like fighting with the fires of hell hiei, fucking on fire at that very moment, five swords crammed into his tiny hands: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM SUPER CHILL ALL THE TIME
• he has a third eye? for SOME reason? and it apparently has like, its own personality? and when people make fun of it he’s like “THE JAGAN DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY TO BEING MOCKED” and then he beats them up to make it feel better
• HE IS A TINY ANGRY SECRETLY KIND EDGELORD GREMLIN WHO TURNS INTO A GREEN EYEBALL-COVERED GOBLIN ONCE AND THEN NEVER DOES AGAIN BC HE’S EMBARRASSED WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE
• let him say fuck

this ask deserves a serious answer but since it’s hiei i cannot be serious or my emotions will overwhelm me