ask-master-genkai:

Anon, don’t ever apologize for feeling. It’s the natural state of a human to feel. As to hardening your heart… Don’t.

Trust me, kid. Even with all those years behind me, I couldn’t do it. I was a hopeful thing, when I was young. As I grew older I became cold and cruel…

And life seemed to mean nothing anymore. Then that dimwit came around, and with him, all the pain of my past. And I suffered. And I screamed and I yelled. Until I realized I didn’t want to anymore. I faced my past, my suffering, and it passed me by… I was at peace.

You will face many sufferings in the future. You likely have faced many already. It won’t stop, not for a long time. But you cannot give up. Hardening yourself will only hurt you more. It will shut you off from the other half of the equation. For each shadow, there is a brilliant light. You must learn to balance these. If people hurt you, stop for a moment. Sit down and breathe. Think of nothing else but your breath… then, like an observer from the outside, look at your life.

Where does it hurt? Why does it hurt? Was I at fault, or someone else? Be objective. Be from the outside, calm, and collected…

…Like a gentle river, just let your thoughts flow, from question to question, but never stirring too much, never rocking the boat. 

Then ask yourself, is there a way to fix this? Can I do it now, or must I wait? Is there nothing I can do at all? Then react accordingly. Attempt to fix what is broken; leave what is unmovable. Do not harden, become flexible. Channel the gentle river, and like water, resist those who push at you too harshly. Punish those who disturb the surface. But open yourself to those who simply pass by, with respect and no intention to disturb your peace. And you might even find those who wish to dive deeper, find all your secrets in those dark depths. Let them. Let yourself be open to the positive light that will find you. If you become too dark and murky… no life will grow. Let that light in, selectively. Learn to control your shadows, to part them at will to be gentle, and to cast them to become cruel, when needed. But never become just one thing. Don’t become unmovable stone.

Stone is brittle. 

But a river… it flows ever on. It can crash against the hardest mountainside and turn it all to sand over time. It can flow around obstacles without worry. It can smack against you and crush your bones… and it can be a cool and refreshing breath for a weary traveler. Don’t be the brittle stone. Don’t break. 

Be the river.

Or don’t. I’m not your life coach. But I’ve crushed many stones, and seen many more be turned to sand. And once you’re sand, you can be blown away by the gentlest of winds. Be a river, and it’ll be you who crushes others to sand.